After reading a blog recently by Jasmine Star (a photog in California) about the death of her Grandmother and her process of letting go I was motivated to write down my thoughts about the loss of my grand parents. Most of my life I have been distanced from my grand parents. One set lived in Melbourne and the other set travelled to warmer climates most of the year. I didn’t really have much of a relationship with either set of grandparents. I only got to go to the funeral of my Pop. He was great in the later years. He embraced my lovely bride into the family more than anyone else at the time. I was truly sad to say goodbye. However, when my Nan (his wife) passed away I wasn’t that upset. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate my Nan. We just didn’t have anything to do with each other. She didn’t want to be around my kids so I didn’t try to be around her and then I moved interstate. The last time I saw her was at the nursing home when my Uncle took me round to see her while I was visiting Perth on a work trip. She was well advanced with dementia and non responsive so the visit didn’t seem to be of much benefit. At least as far as I know.
My other grandparents lived in Melbourne all the time I knew them. We lived in Perth on the other side of the country. I didn’t really know them well at all. The tireny of distance laid waste to this relationship for us. Things did change in a positive way when I got a job over in Victoria for a while and we got to spend some time with them. The thing I liked best about that time was the unconditional acceptance of my wife Julie. Joining my family has been challenging for Julie but my Grandmother and Grandfather took her in immediately. We shared stories and laughed many times during that period.
We moved on but my relationship with them had changed for the better. Sadly my Grandmother died in her sleep one night while we were in Sydney. So now all I have left is my Grandfather. Even still I took him for granted and rarely called him. My family isn’t strong on the communication side. It took the description of a strong family relationship to jog me into action. I have changed my behaviour and started to call my Grandfather. We don’t talk long as he still thinks of the cost of long distance calls as he remembers them. Even though it costs me the same regardless of the length of the call. However, we do talk now and I feel closer to him and more appreciative of him now. Family is important and it is easy to forget that until its gone forever.
Just remember its never too late until they are gone.